4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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