I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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