So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
