I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
