dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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