Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
