oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
