my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
