Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
