Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
