I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
