I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
