Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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