i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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