I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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