also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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