Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
