Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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