perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
