Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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