Tell her she can't have a vagina
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
