____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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