His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
