Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
