Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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