Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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