Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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