So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's shark week go big or go home
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
