Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
