drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
