I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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