thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me