On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
