Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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