He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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