at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
