Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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