I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
