It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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