is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize