My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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