He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
