I must be too annoying 4 u.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
