I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
