When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just had sex on a roof
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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