Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I puked a lego.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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