wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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