btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
