Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize