11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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