You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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