I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
