My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
