whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
