I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Who died my cat blue again?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
