I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
