I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
