I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
