i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
