i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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